It’s Your Wedding….Who’s Invited?
Photo Credit: @champagnenupe, Kendal Lanier of Champagne Love Stories
One of the most difficult tasks of planning your wedding is creating the guestlist. From deciding the total number of guests to who they will be. And after that, there are more questions that need answering. Who can bring a plus one? How do you choose which relatives to invite? What happens if you don’t have as many guests RSVP’ing as you expected? It’s important to know guest list etiquette as you put the final details together. One of the most challenging aspects is the couple figuring out whether they should invite childhood friends. Let’s make something very clear, you are not obligated to invite them. As a couple, you need to have two types of lists: A-List and B-List. The A-List consist of the people you highly expect to be in attendance. The B-List consists of people you wouldn’t mind having there, but it’s not going to bother you if they are not in attendance. They also are the people you can bring in if a guest from your A-List can’t attend. Let’s tackle some of the most common questions couples ask.
How do you pick which cousins/relatives to invite? The best way to address extended family is by judging how close you are. Remember, this is your big day, and only the important people in your life should be there.
Should you invite your co-workers? Yes, if you have a strong friendship outside of the office. I’ve been invited to several of my co-worker’s weddings. And to avoid office gossip, make sure you extend the invitation outside of work.
What is the best way to handle plus ones? If a family member or close friend is engaged, their fiancé must be invited. That’s just proper etiquette. Also, most couples set boundaries by including only other couples who are in long term relationships. The downside to that is there are going to be single people that won’t be allowed to bring a date. It is important that they are made aware of that. During the reception, make sure they are seated in the proper area during dinner. This has happened to me on several occasions, but I was always seated with other single people. I think its safe to say our table had the best time. When it comes to your bridal party, letting them bring a plus one is a very nice gesture. However, it isn’t mandatory.
Are your children invited? This is one of the biggest questions!! I have seen a great deal of conflicts at receptions because one family member can bring their four year old and another one couldn’t bring their 12-year old. Adults-only celebrations are the best way to celebrate. Kids should be able to come to the ceremony though, especially when you have them in the ceremony as the ring bearer and the flower girl. However, when it’s time for the reception, have a babysitter on standby ready to watch them for the evening. Never make any exceptions outside of that. It’s only going to lead to trouble.
Should you invite someone that invited you to their wedding? Absolutely! If your friend or colleague’s wedding was recent and are still close, and if your wedding is on the same or similar scale, they should automatically be on your list.
In conclusion, as a couple, it is important to get ruthless with your guestlist. Remember, you are paying for their dinner, cocktail hour, and their experience. Couples should treat it with the same level of scrutiny and pickiness that an elite nightclub uses when putting together VIP. You know who’s important and who’s not. You are starting a new chapter in your lives and only the people who want to see you succeed should be there.