How to Handle the Pressure of Wedding Planning
Couple: Rakeim Collier & Camille Syed
Photography: @goofent
You’re engaged! It’s an exciting time for you and your significant other to celebrate your love and commitment. And as exhilarating as it is to think about your future together, it can also be very stressful and overwhelming. Usually, the expectation of being engaged is that it is the happiest time in your life only for the reality of the situation to sink in. And as we all know, reality can be often disappointing. However, there are ways for couples to remain focus on what is the most important…your upcoming marriage. You’re starting a new chapter in your life, and you need to be as prepared as possible. Here are the reasons why couples are stressed and how to handle them.
1. It’s expensive.
You have made the decision to spend the rest of your life with someone special. Planning a wedding is a big investment of your time and energy. From locking down the venue to deciding if you’re planning a lavish affair or intimate gathering, the costs of wedding planning add up. Other costly elements of wedding planning include, linens, florals, photography, videography, the tuxedo for the groom, the entertainment, and most importantly the dress. Discussing finances is never a comfortable topic. And if you have family members who want to contribute financially, it will only add to the pressure. Usually when people provide finances, they expect to have a say.
The best way to handle this is to create a detailed budget and DO NOT spend beyond your means. It’s not worth the stress. DO NOT get caught with trying to Keep Up with the Joneses on social media. It is important for everyone in the family is on the same page. Be very upfront with your planner so he/she can help you find vendors who understand and respect your limits. Your wedding doesn’t have to be big and outrageous for it to be beautiful. You have to be able to discuss finances. Finances are one of the main issues couples disagree vehemently about and why couples divorce as well. Communication is key.
2. Expectations and emotions are high.
The people closest to you are going to have high hopes for your wedding day. They’ll have their own ideas and opinions on who should be invited, where it should take place, who The Best Man and Maid of Honor should be, etc. Friends and family always have the best intentions, but they also tend to make the planning process more difficult. Couples tend to get very worried about letting their loved ones down and dealing with conflict can make the planning less fun and seamless.
Always remember, the pressure that is coming from friends and family are coming from a good place. And sometimes they will make different situations about them. Couples who have family members who are heavily involved must be willing to compromise. But it is important to set boundaries as a couple. You will not be able to please everybody, no matter how accommodating you are. It IS YOUR WEDDING DAY. You are not obligated to invite the cousins you haven’t spoken to in over a decade. You are not obligated to invite distant co-workers you barely know. Only invite the people who are truly happy for you and are important to your success as couple.
3. Your relationship is taking a toll.
The decisions that you’ll make on the details of your wedding will be a lot to handle. Those decisions will come with financial stress and intense emotions. Other problems include feeling like your partner is contributing enough or cares as deeply. Couples also tend to miss what their relationship is like prior to the engagement.
Continue to date and keep the relationship fun and relaxed. Get involved with activities that don’t have anything to do with your wedding. Dating and working well together is what got you to this point in your relationship. Bottling up your emotions because you’re afraid of confronting your partner and starting a bad fight won’t help. Share how you are feeling. Check in with one another about your mental and emotional health throughout this process. Remember, the wedding last for a day, the marriage lasts for a lifetime. When the celebration is over, it’s going to be just you and your partner. It’s important that you two are at peace with each other.
4. You’re worried about the big day.
The planning isn’t always causing the biggest stress. Some of the major concerns tend to be centered around the big day. For example, worrying about the plans going awry or being nervous about the fact that all the attention is on you. Couples who are already a bit nervous during the planning process tend to be even more nervous on the big day.
Remember, this is your big day and the best thing to do is to relax. Have a routine for the morning so it can set the tone for the rest of the day. Go for a walk, hit the gym, listen to some music. Surround yourself with closest friends and family. Throughout the day, continue to breathe. Make sure to get a good breakfast because you won’t have time to eat until dinner. Between preparing for the ceremony and take a great deal of photos and behind the scenes videos, it’s going to take a toll on you physically. And of course, toast to some champagne. This is your big day. As a couple, you have worked very hard to get to this point. Enjoy the moment. Everyone is here to support you. When things don’t go as planned, it’s usually because they’re coming together better than expected. Your big day is going to be a blur! Make beautiful memories and take timeless pictures. And get ready to walk into a happy and healthy marriage in a fabulous manner!!